Let me be perfectly clear! There’s nothing wrong with radiating positive energy. Statements like “let’s think positive”, “Laban lang”, “Hasil hard!”, and “Mamba Mentality” are used in posts on social media, advertisements, and even a way of giving advice. But there’s a big gap between being positive all the time and rejecting anything that could trigger negative emotions. This is what we call toxic positivity.
But what exactly is toxic positivity? In psychology, it is defined as the “excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state across all situations.”. In basic terms, you’re no longer keeping it real… to yourself.
But sometimes humans, specifically Filipinos – wink – even though we have experienced tremendous hardship and struggles in life, we tend to stay positive and put a smile on our faces. Are we being genuinely happy or are we putting on a mask behind our face masks to conceal how we really feel? In a non-toxic and safe manner, you need to take that mask off. (Metaphorically speaking!)
People from all around the world have suffered because of the pandemic. Millions of mortalities, companies furloughing employees; the list of bad news goes on. It’s a struggle to cope. From my personal experience, my father used to work in the tourism industry, and he was repatriated because of the fluctuations within the industry.
I wore a mask of positivity to conceal the truth of my anxiety. We have a tendency to always look on the brighter side of life, but we end up neglecting what we are truly feeling. Then, there’s nothing real about that anymore. We, as resilient Filipinos, need to realize that it’s okay not to be okay.
In a Social Weather Stations (SWS) survey, 45.5% of adults lost their jobs because of the pandemic. In response to the survey, Presidential Spokesperson Harry Roque said, “I am happy that 100 percent did not lose their jobs. Given that we have been on lockdown for a long time, I’m still surprised at our resilience and only 45 percent have lost their jobs. It could have been worse because we are under a complete lockdown.” This article hits close to home for millions of Filipinos.
We have seen news and photographs in the media countless times of Filipino resiliency, such as children and families smiling despite being struck by tragedy, teachers and students climbing up mountains to find a good signal for online classes, and society continues to glorify these kinds of actions.
Filipinos overcoming great adversity as a result of our relentless hustle and resiliency have become a common news story. We have completely forgotten that this is something that the administration should and has to take accountability for. Filipinos are resilient as a result of the incompetence of those in power.
That being said, this “resilience” that we are so used to, has turned divisive and problematic. We tend to shrug off and ignore adversities that come along our way because we are resilient and it has been a continuous process. Our leaders and countrymen are so used to seeing this silver lining of resiliency that we tend to forget that we should be trying to improve as a nation, and make our leaders accountable for their negligence.
Resiliency is not just about coping, flourishing, and making a comeback from great obstacles, but it is also about seeking for change. We’re supposed to learn from these mistakes, not toughen up and just deal with it like some cowboy from a 1970’s movie.
I believe that resiliency is a component of toxic positivity. We are so used to the idea of positivity and resilience being a magic word to destroy all obstacles, that we have chosen to ignore the problematic issues that are happening in our country. Smiling in times of adversity is okay, but accepting that it’s okay to feel those feelings and demand more from our leaders is better.
Filipinos can endure a drained body but not a tired spirit.
It’s time to stop romanticizing resiliency.
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