“Distance is just a test to see how far love can travel.” - Anonymous
Love is patient. Love endures. Love sacrifices. If any kind of relationship proves these facts, it’s a long-distance one.
Long-distance relationships (LDR) are tough – you can’t physically be with your partner for a looooong time. Sad, noh? As a couple, it’s fun doing things together like having picnics, watching the latest Marvel movie in theaters, or even just cuddling because #CuddleWeather. But how does that happen in an LDR?
Some couples dread the idea of LDR because of the possibility of losing touch. On the other hand, it tests the strength of the love you and your partner share. Some people may ask, what are the challenges these couples face? How does a couple know when they’re ready to face an LDR?
Ipadayag Digital interviewed an LDR couple during this pandemic. Let’s call them Maria and Juan.
Here’s their story.
The story of Maria and Juan:
Maria and Juan met during Senior High through mutual friends and hit it off right away. Fast forward, and they’ve now been in a relationship for two years, nine months, and counting.
They used to do a lot together like go to the beach, eat out with loved ones, and go on joyrides, but due to the pandemic, they’ve been in an LDR for three months.
Maria says the situation has been tough because of the lack of “babe time” (i.e. physical touch), but they promised each other they’d do their best to spend time together in other ways. Because of online classes, there are tendencies that they can’t communicate as often as they’d like. The conflicting, busy schedules are frustrating.
Maria admits that their LDR journey so far isn’t going great. There are unhappy moments and tendencies to fight over small issues.
“It’s sometimes hard to deal with our petty fights because of our pride,” she said.
There are things in their relationship that need fixing because of the current situation. They do try to fix their issues together, but it’s easier said than done when they’re apart. Still, both Maria and Juan don't want their love to fade, so they talk about their problems and do their best to adjust to the distance.
Within these months, Maria learned five ways how to make LDR work.
1. Have trust
You and your partner need to trust each other to avoid conflicts in your relationship. Trust is a building block for any relationship; without it, you’ll have an unstable foundation. When you’re in an LDR, instability increases because you can’t see your partner for an indefinite time.
A study from PennState Behrend validates this, saying, “this [trust] is essential for both partners in order for a[n] LDR to survive.” Remember, lack of trust leads to doubt, jealousy, suspicion, and paranoia.
“Try your best not to hide anything from each other, be open and understanding,” said Maria.
2. Spend time with each other
Don’t make your partner feel like you’re not making time for them. Do your best to spend quality time together. Although we all have our separate lives, never forget to find time for your partner, even if it’s just for a short while. It’s the least you can do to ease the loneliness or anxieties that come with an LDR.
“Making time to communicate about your relationship will help you avoid conflicts in the future...” said Couples Therapist Adam Maures. Life cannot all be work. Remember to enjoy the time you spend connecting with your partner.
“It’s best to do things together like watch movies online, talk about how everything went for the past days, or spill secrets/updates!” said Maria.
3. Look at the distance as an opportunity
See long-distance relationships as an opportunity to grow individually.
An LDR is also an opportunity for couples to test their trust, honesty, bond, and how far they can go with their love for each other despite the distance. Love guru Keay Nigel, says “it’s better to view your long-distance relationship as a learning journey for the both of you. See it as a test of your love for each other.”
Instead of thinking that LDR is hard and pulling you two apart, try reframing your thoughts; this experience proves that even distance can’t stand in your way.
“If you want to make this work for the both of you, look at the bright side!” said Maria.
4. Support each other
It’s tough being in an LDR. We tend to feel sad and lonely especially when our partner is not around. That’s why it’s important to support each other in any way, so we can feel the comfort and love we need to get through tough times.
Reassure one another, and always be open to an honest conversation.
“You gotta have each other’s back when everything turns upside down. Nobody should feel left out and alone,” said Maria.
5. Be faithful
This is one of the toughest challenges in a relationship: you have to be devoted to one another, even when there are temptations around you. No third parties (unless you mutually agree to an open relationship, perhaps)!
Faithfulness, devotion, loyalty – call it what you will – help you focus on building a healthy love life. Having faith in your partner is also having faith in your relationship; it will help you feel secure.
“Being faithful clears your conscience and it helps you live a life that is not stressful, empty, or complicated,” said Maria.
Are you ready?
When is a couple ready for LDR? For Maria, couples are ready when they don’t have trouble communicating.
Another sign a couple is ready is when both individuals don’t mind spending time on their own. Imagine only focusing on your partner. It’s too much, diba?
Being in an LDR may be difficult at first, but if you think about it, there’s so much you can learn from the experience. Relationships are hard work, so just take it one day at a time, and watch where that love takes you.
Ayyy wow! Murag naa jod experience ang nagsuwat bah! Ahemmmmm ❤️ anyway, nice article!!!! Makatabang gyerds aw charrr
Congrats guys! Nice work ❤️❤️❤️
Congrats baby ko nice kaayo. Keep it up baby im so proud of you. I love you so soo much baby ko.
Wow, so amazing story. I love this Article.
Even though I have been NBSB, I could still give some insights due to the fact that I have witnessed some of my friends and family who had been or are in a similar situation regarding the topic at hand. In the course of the relationship, both will encounter good and bad things but nevertheless, if they exert effort and time wisely, then anything can be possible. With that being said, I must say that I agree with what was abovementioned because indeed, as what they say "it takes two to tango".